Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
