We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We are two peas in an std pod
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
