Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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