There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
