I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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