This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
