I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
