biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
