"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
