i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
