do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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