So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
