If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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