Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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