I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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