first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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