sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
