If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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