you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
