ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
