I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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