that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
