Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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