After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
