Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
