the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
