So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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