Say something about gay babies.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
