You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
