Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
