i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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