too bad you live with your parents still
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
