I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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