But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
