Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my phone needs a breathalizer
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
