Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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