I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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