i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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