Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
