This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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