I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
