some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
