the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
