this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
