i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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