Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
