Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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