Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
