Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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