im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
